June 8, 2007 My reward is showing compassion.

Finally the first full tour under my belt and I was able to walk away with a smile on my face.

It might have had something to do with the little party we had the night after my last shift...with Fire and RCMP. It might have had something to do with the good volleyball I played prior to that. Or maybe the ride in the back of the RCMP car I had as my 'chauffeur' drove me to the party.

It might have had something to do with how it seems like maybe I'm fitting in okay up there...that even the meanie medic isn't so mean anymore. And how although I haven't had much for calls yet, the things that we have had I have done so-so on for now...without any major screw ups.

I continue to look forward to when this is all done...I am tired of sitting as the third man on car: segregated from everything that is going on, removed from the conversation, clueless of even where I am because I have such limited windows to see from.

I've been home now for a couple nights. That first night home and in my own bed without the possibility of being toned out...easily my favourite thing these days. A unique experience impossible to simulate: the greatest sleep ever.

Driving around town yesterday running errands, the passenger in the car with my friend. I was like a dog excited for the car ride, enjoying the nearly 360 view I had of everything going on and everywhere we were going. Being able to participate in a conversation without stretching forward, craning my neck and shouting over the engine noise to overcome the last stretch to the front cab.

Although my calls have been far from the excitement which many of my classmates are experiencing, I am enjoying 'the job' as much as I'm getting to see of it. It's the human contact; the opportunity to demonstrate compassion that I am falling in love with. Not to the point of being too involved but just finding an outlet for this urge to say or show that I care which has overwhelmed me for a few years now. It's a chance to exercise those listening skills which friends have valued in me.

What more can I say, except that it's all pretty cool.

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