Authenticity and Purpose

A profound chapter.

2009-05-27T12:09:00.002-07:00

I love reading. I love discovering within a stranger's words... a camaraderie.A very special friend, a girl who is a decade younger than me but has proven time and time again wisdom well beyond her age (and even mine) recommended this particular read. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.Since beginning this book almost a year ago (I love reading but rarely actually make time for it!) I have come

September 20, 2008 The Last Laugh

2008-09-21T17:31:00.004-07:00

As I held her hand between both of mine I stole a glace at the monitor. I had silenced the alarms at the start of the trip once we were certain we had all the documentation on hand. Sometime ago, this woman had chosen to sign a DNR knowing with the multitude of things going wrong in her body, an end was inevitable.I looked back at her and despite what any machine would say I saw a calm and happy

June 16, 2008 For My Teacher

2008-06-16T22:59:00.002-07:00

Stepping Stonesby Barbara WilliamsCome, take my hand, the road is long. We must travel by stepping stones. No, you're not alone. I'll go with you. I know the road well, I've been there. Don't fear the darkness. I'll be with you. We must take one step at a time. But remember we may have to stop awhile. It is a long way to the other side and there are many obstacles.We have many stones to cross.

June 10, 2008 Power of One

2008-06-09T23:52:00.003-07:00

"I'm proud to be an idealist because it shows that I believe in mankind. That may sound naive but every other belief will lead to destruction. ~Nirgendwo in Afrika

April 7, 2008 The Real Deal

2008-04-09T16:03:00.007-07:00

Two months have passed since I began working full time with my top pick for a service.It has been about a year since I finished up in the classroom of EMT school and prepared to begin my practicum.It has been two years since I first allowed myself to consider the idea that my interest in EMS was no longer about understanding someone else, but instead to satisfy my own curiousity and attraction to

November 12, 2007 Time's Burden

2007-11-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's worse: The first time a friend breaks your heart? Or when you dream of reconciliation only to wake up and relive the loss with the clarity which time has burdened you with?I'm reminded how our personal relationship are tightly entwined with our accomplishments. It seems every time I take a giant step forward, the joy and exhilaration are dampened by the losses that are

October 12, 2007 Signs

2007-11-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

I have refrained from posting this until after receiving the results from the ACoP exam weekend for fear that I might jinx the outcome. Anyone that knows me knows I see patterns in various events and details. And instead of explaining them as mere coincidence I keep faith that the pattern holds much more meaning.A quote which I come back to often seems appropriate here once again: "Coincidence is

September 20, 2007 The East Day 2

2007-09-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

On day 2 of this excursion it has proven to be just what I imagined. I write this as I sit on the rocks which define the area in and around Peggy's Cove staring out from the south shores of Nova Scotia. To my left in the distance is the popular lighthouse (and the tons of tourists milling about). To my right are more rocks and typical vegetation found here indicative of the salty waters.

September 19, 2007 The East Day 1

2007-09-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

After an evening of last minute packing, and finally being on the red-eye as the first of two legs to my personal adventure I was eager to sleep the few hours until arriving in TO. Of course, nothing can go smoothly when heading to such a major centre for air travel and we were diverted before landing to Hamilton due to fog. No biggie...just more opportunity to sleep. However as a result, the

September 16, 2007 "Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."

2007-09-16T22:52:00.000-07:00

I was in search of one quote this afternoon, but happened across this one instead:"I see my path but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it." ~Rosalia de CastroIn two days I'm embarking on a personal adventure following a prophetic dream and subsequent 'coincidences'. Somehow, despite all the things I've ventured into already...I have surprised

September 7, 2007 Hanging with the STARS

2007-09-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

Part of NAIT's EMT program includes volunteering as a class at the STARS gala in Spring. As thank you for our participation we are given a ride along at a later date. Mine was today, and I was totally skunked. No calls!However because of my hard work at the gala, my willingness to stay well past the end when all but one other classmate had left for the night, I have been permitted a rescheduled

August 24, 2007 Inside the Actor's Studio

2007-08-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

If anyone has ever watched 'Inside the Actor's Studio' they'll know what these 10 questions are before I quote them. The questionnaire concept was originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, but James Lipton (the host of IAS) uses it at the end of his one-on-one interviews. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to check out the show and be educated.The Lipton

August 14, 2007 Adventures in shampoo purchases.

2007-08-14T00:08:00.000-07:00

So how often is it that something happens in your life that could soon become a commonly read email joke?Well, after 28 years of living my own life I'm beginning to realize that by just being me, going about my day as I already do, I may never be a comedian but I sure as heck might get a few chuckles with my apparent ability to re-tell the story in written form.So let's begin with my short tale

August 7, 2007 Cathin' them babies.

2007-08-13T22:46:00.001-07:00

(As per SOMEONE'S request, and as best as my frazzled brain will allow me to remember)I was supposed to leave the city for the annual jamboree by 9:00 am. However, as is typical in my world, I got super delayed. I didn't actually leave until about 4:00 pm. And then my departure was quickly taken over by a nasty storm cloud which decided to stay right over top of me the entire way pissing like a

July 29, 2007 Macbeth

2007-08-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

Driving into the emergency bay I notice the units already parked, all but one empty: doors wide open, stretchers and crews missing. It's not exactly quiet in the bay but it lacks the noise of the waiting room and the chaos that often travels in the back of our units. I think of it as the sound of a moment of rest.As we pull in behind one unit a crew member is working away mopping the floor. The

July 4, 2007 .....2024

2007-08-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

A year or two ago I was driving home and saw on a church billboard a quote which has stuck close with me since: "Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous."My day started off wonderfully but was quickly dampened with frustration and continued with stress.I awoke this morning knowing I was only two calls away from completing practicum and well on my way to finishing this huge step in my career

July 3, 2007 One long year.

2007-08-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

Well folks...here's what I've got for news today.A year ago this week...I started my EMR course. Today...in approximately 100 minutes I will walk away with my EMT practicum solidly behind me, a practicum book signed off and good to go, heading home with nothing to think about for a little while.All my calls completed.All my competencies signed off.All my hours worked.Mastabattas is officially

July 2, 2007 Last act.

2007-08-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

A day without activity...phones have been quiet.My focus is on averaging a certain number of calls to complete requirements. I'm exhausted from the past few hectic days and enjoying a break as I take a nap. I'm anxious that perhaps this will drag on just a little longer. It's not a bad thing except that I am now hoping to finish with my original preceptor rather then start with a new one just for

July 1, 2007 The finish line.

2007-08-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

Well over the 200 hours required (270 to date)Only 1 single competency left (an ironic one...anyone need a bandaid?)And after 3+ tours with an uber White Cloud...5 Emerg calls left (12 of the 25 have been in the last 5 days).All of this with three days left including the wee hours following Canada Day celebrations tonight.Hours of sleep in the past 5 days? 10 depending on your definition of

June 26, 2007 Back in the box...

2007-08-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

...the box with lights, sirens and most importantly the box with equipment and drugs to try and mend a person in need.I've had a little over a week to process my thoughts on my previous entry. I've consulted with the ones who taught me, who guide me...ones who are becoming colleagues and even more so are becoming friends and mentors. I've received different perspectives and good advice from each

June 23, 2007 Personal ghosts.

2007-08-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

Halfway through my most recent tour I thought I was going to be coming home to write about all the fun I had this week, in comparison to the work I'd had the tour before... but perhaps I'd jumped the gun a bit.Things started off pretty fun...with corporate challenge and also with seeing myself (parts anyway) in the paper. I was volun-told for the challenges of a 1-minute commercial AND the '

June 8, 2007 My reward is showing compassion.

2007-08-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Finally the first full tour under my belt and I was able to walk away with a smile on my face.It might have had something to do with the little party we had the night after my last shift...with Fire and RCMP. It might have had something to do with the good volleyball I played prior to that. Or maybe the ride in the back of the RCMP car I had as my 'chauffeur' drove me to the party.It might have

June 1, 2007 Mock MCI for the EMT Student.

2007-08-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

So these things are supposed to be hush hush prior to execution but in a town of what...8500?...like Slave it's totally not going to happen.This is day 3 of my first FULL tour on practicum. Day 3...with 1 minor emerg call on the books and otherwise days (and nights) of no activity. Not just a little white cloud is me...a HUGE white cloud...me in town means great health for our region.So I woke up

May 27, 2007 God's hand.

2007-08-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

It was meant to be my first full tour. Leaving Wednesday before dawn, returning home Tuesday in time to sleep in my own bed. Instead I was delayed by a stomach bug.Finally heading up part way into my tour I was relieved: Not terrified as expected. Sunday morning, 0400h, facing forward on highway 44. The weather had turned cooler recently. Spoiling the end of a pre-long-weekend run of pleasant

May 15, 2007 Torturing your preceptor.

2007-08-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

So I forgot a kinda funny story.My first day up in Slave, no calls during the day but I got toned out at about 2000h. We get to the place and the patient is ambulatory but post bypass surgery, and complaining of lower back pain/SOB. So the medic stays with the patient and the EMT and I head back to get the stair chair. It REALLY DOES get used.So the EMT quickly gets it set up but I notice as

May 5, 2007 Whoa Nelly! I'm NOT ready.

2007-08-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

I've found myself in a state of something but I don't know what to call it.It started with hearing that I passed the didactic portion of school...with a respectable cushion even. An absence of excitement...and something oddly similar to disappointment. It was a friend from school who described it best because she was feeling the same way: it felt as if I had cheated the system...that somehow the

EMS Humour

2007-08-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

April 26, 2007 Clinical rotation Day 3.

2007-08-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

I am half done my hospital... all in all it's going well. Day one was a good first day for me...just the right pace. Day two had a little more activity at shift change but nothing crazy. Well...not the pace at least...however we did have one fellow on the other hand who seemed to be having QUITE the conversation with the warming cabinet LOL.Good geriatrics for IV attempts, and assessments...

April 24, 2007 Clinical rotation Day 1.

2007-08-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

Ok. Day 1 done. A few good things learned...like remember to have a BLACK ink pen for hospitals...they don't like BLUE. AND good idea to have a RED pen too.Also...as far as Latex allergies go... if you have a patient who is allergic or sensitive... do not draw drugs through the rubber stopper, but instead remove the top altogether.And to just another check on the reliability of your pulse

April 20, 2007 The dream continues.

2007-08-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the final tally is... Leslie was kind of enough to leave me till the VERY last to inform... but according to her I passed!!!!!Dear gawd so now what? Practicum? Noooooooooooooooooooooo I'm not ready!Passed with 90%Class average was 87%

April 20, 2007 I have a dream...

2007-08-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

As I pull into my parking stall at home I glance at the clock on the dash...0124h April 20th, 2007. An entire 5 hours have passed since I handed in the very papers which will determine what lays ahead for me.2024h. That's what I noted as I walked away from the desk, having left my exam, and answers behind...heading towards the door knowing that on the other side there were classmates in the same

April 12, 2007 My latest pearl of wisdom.

2007-08-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

So I had an enjoyable visit with my friend Emily last night. And while chatting about all sorts of things we realized that we have a common life lesson learned after high school: that all those things you deemed insignificant, not important, not relevant or just plain old stupid/lame/retarded...are probably the most important, useful things you'll ever learn in your entire life. There's even a

April 11, 2007 Final Practical Exam.

2007-08-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

Phew!Passed the practicals tonight. But not without close calls. Many near brain farts for me.Congrats to everyone else...a few redo's on Thursday but then everyone will have been successful!Now just the written. 35 chapters, plus two other textbooks to read...and I've got a week. At least the upside to being unemployed for that time...is that I won't have any money to contribute to

April 9, 2007 EMT School nearing it's end.

2007-08-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm home and not studying like I should be.Just thinking about things as usual and I still can't believe this has all flown by so quickly. I really don't know how anyone thinks it's a good idea to send us out there with so little schooling behind us. LOL. People are always asking me if I'd let anyone in my class work on me......frankly I wouldn't let ME work on me.So...as we are preparing (

Remembering Michael "Kodiac" Jolin

2007-08-13T20:01:00.000-07:00

EMTs salute their comradeProcession, memorial service remember paramedic killed on dutyAndrea Sands, edmonton journal.comPublished: Saturday, March 31, 2007About 100 uniformed emergency-services workers from across Canada marched in solidarity Saturday to honour the first Alberta paramedic in decades who has died in the line of duty.In a poignant tribute during the kilometre-long procession,

March 24, 2007 Preparing for practicum.

2007-08-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, we're hearing more and more about things to do (or not do) on practicum. Classics like "Don't sleep with your preceptor!" and "Bring baked stuff on your first day."These are just things I've heard or been told on my ride alongs and from friends in the biz....Unit checks each shift is great but offer to do the complete inventory check. Helpful...as well as great way to familiarize yourself

March 13, 2007 Line of Duty Death (LODD) Michael Jolin

2007-08-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

Another LODD for EMS this week: Seems like there have been so many this year. The fire fighters in Winnipeg, the medics/soldiers while serving on our behalf in Afghanistan, the student in Saskatchewan nearing the end of his practicum, the young man in Ontario recently, the police and RCMP across the country who serve to protect us each day...of course never forgetting the four in Mayerthorpe.This

March 5, 2007 How is it possible?

2007-08-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm about eight weeks away from being let out of the confines of the classroom and into the active world of EMS. Oddly enough, it will be around that same time but one year earlier, when I first realized that research into EMS, which I had started for the purposes of understanding my friend...had turned into something for myself as I entertained the idea of a career change.I hope you'll believe

February 16, 2007 Good News Day!!!

2007-08-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today is a GREAT day!For starters I had my doctor's appointment which I was extremely panicked for. A call back because of the results of an ultrasound done a couple weeks prior query LLQ fullness. As a breast cancer survivor (a little over six monhts at this point) any call back from tests is a source of fear.Well I say it's a great day because instead of any concern of cancer I was given the

Humour: A hole behind

2007-08-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf layout became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his

Humour: New married men magazine!

2007-08-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

January 14, 2007 First trip to the Alberta College of Paramedics.

2007-08-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

Well folks, just got back from Red Deer.7 of us went down Friday... and 7 of us are back in Edmonton having all passed our practicals (no redos required this weekend!).I did mine this morning with two of the others... I got Medical: a transfer from a nursing home of a 72 y/o male complaining of unstable angina x2 weeks.I didn't have a lot of time in the sequester area. My turn for practical

EMS Humour

2007-08-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

December 31, 2006 Patience Grasshopper!

2007-08-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

My first 14-hour night shift, 2 hours away on the day before new years! Geez LOL. I got only a couple 20 min naps the whole night and then got back to Edmonton just in time to head to church. By the time I got home, I had just a couple hours to recoup before heading out for the evening events!Ok the Lloydminster ride along...I think I learned stuff that is more general then anything. It would

December 28, 2006 Ambo-Virgin no more!

2007-08-13T17:14:00.000-07:00

Was out at Camrose EMS yesterday for the day. All I have to say:AWESOME!The two guys I was with for the day rocked! One Medic who's been doing it since he was 40 and switched from farming...and another much younger dude who was actually just there filling for the regular guy who was out with pneumonia...22ish I think...full time fire fighter in Leduc, EMT on the side. Excellent pair to ride with

September 22, 2006 A rare moment, when I'm happy to be completely wrong.

2007-04-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

I GOT IN! And I can't stop crying every time I tell someone!! The called at 3:40pm!! Talk about waiting until the 11th hour. Geezus. I had two students at my desk that I was trying to help, the phone rang and I recognized the number as being from our ConEd department. I answered it with some far off hope that MAYBE it was them...but didn't

September 22, 2006 If I were Pooh's friend, I would be Eeyore

2007-04-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well it's 1400h on Friday. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say the answer from NAIT is no.So onto the back up plan.Courses to take in the next year:Pre-req's for EMT-PChem 30Bio 30Courses I can take ahead of time for advanced credit in EMT-PMedical TerminologyHuman Workplace RelationsInfection Control and SafetyThings to do over the next year to help:St. Johns AmbulanceClass 4 licenseProfessional/

September 16, 2006 I doubt it'll be enough.

2007-04-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well folks it's done!My scenario and interview were at 1130h today. The final stage for now.So here's the tale of what transpired!I arrived and checked in with the gal (Shauna) at about 11:10 am. Turned in my resume which I had just finished updating (oops...that's what happens when you stay at a job for any length of time). I was asked a couple quick questions: Do you have your CPR? (Yeppers...3

September 15, 2006 I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp.

2007-04-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

Written SUCKED arse. 100 MC questions. Of which...I am confident with 10 of my answers. The rest...ALL guesses. It was a good quality exam, don't get me wrong. But Holy Firetruck!! I can't remember what the most difficult question was. But it asked things like normal BP for 8 m/o infant. The technique to prevent gastric distention. Oh and one question I'm still trying to find the answer

September 15, 2006 One Step at a Time

2007-04-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

NAIT's entrance exam process begins tonight.First, a written exam of 100 multiple choice EMR scope questions. Then tomorrow and Sunday each of us applying will complete one scenario and personal interview.As of yesterday there were 61 people registered for this process.I spoke with Leslie the coordinator for the program hoping to get a gauge on the level of difficulty for this whole process. She

July 28, 2006 Lesson #2 EMS in Canada

2007-03-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

So now that we've covered the special case of Alberta...what about Paramedicine in Canada. Well Wikipedia does a wonderful job of summing it all up:Paramedics in Canada There are three levels of paramedic qualification: Primary Care Paramedic Advanced Care Paramedic Critical Care Paramedic Primary Care Paramedics (In Alberta this is the EMT-A) Primary Care Paramedics (PCP) are the basic level

July 28, 2006 Lesson #1 EMS in Alberta

2007-03-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

When I grow up, I want to be a Paramedic...a Critical Care Paramedic to be specific. But what do all these terms mean?In Alberta it's of course different from the rest of Canada so we'll start there.(courtesy of ALIS -Alberta Government)EMR: Emergency Medical ResponderEMRs are the lowest tier of Alberta's three-tiered system of emergency medical services personnelIn general, EMRs may:assess the

July 04, 2006 The Genesis of my New Career

2007-03-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well today was the first official day of the long road to a career in EMS.My EMR class started today. I've been terrified for weeks now as to whether I was making the right choice or not. It doesn't matter that I've done months of research: Looking at requirements across Canada. Understanding the steps that need to be taken. Going over the list again and again so that I know what I need to do

May 14, 2006: Pituresque Prophecy

2006-06-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

They say after a traumatic event, that you need to give yourself at least a year before you make any major decisions...about your life, relationships, your job, your health...all of it. Even the tattoo artist said to give myself a year.Koen died March 28th, 2005. This photo was taken a little over a year later on Mother's Day (2006). I was in the process of making some pretty major decisions